How we met...

It was my third week into the shutdown and at that point, the video crew and I practically knew everyone on board. EVERYONE - from the OIM down to the last scaffolder.  It wasn't difficult to get to know people, there were at most 5 girls at any given time and well over 300 men.

It was crunch time at the platform. In the CSR office at the Lewek Conquerer, Paul Grant's soundtrack had changed from Sarah McLachlans "Hold On" to Don Henley crooning "Desperado." Many of our prospective interviewees for video were haggard and refused to be interviewed unless we had a court order.

On the morning of the fourth of December 2006, just after coffee break. The video crew and I saw a fresh face we hadn't seen before - and for documentation, we really needed an interview. We were wondering how anyone on that platform could have kept himself as immaculately clean as he did - and where the heck was he hanging out that he needed a sweater.

I had just finished crawling beside sooted pipes, documenting shutdown activities. Trust me, with my short hair dyed partly green (and fading) and my red coveralls covered in grime, oil, dirt... you name it. I wasn't quite at my most attractive. But, we had to be charming if we needed to score at least one interview that day. In comes the most infamous and cheesy pick-up line ever....

"So, you must be new or you've been hiding somewhere... I'm Kathy, this is Jeanette - and we wondering if we could interview you."

He introduced himself and said "Hi! I'm John"

"Cool! Nice name... it runs in my family. My grandfather, my father, an uncle, two cousins and my brother in law's name is John. And your surname is..."

"Grimme"

"Like the brother's Grimme?"

"Actually, I'm a seventh generation descendant"

"Hey! Then you can tell us a story.... perfect for the interview. Where have you been hiding, why do you need a sweater and why haven't we seen you before today?"

"I work in the ECM"

And Jeanette and I looked at each other... ECM, ECM.....  We've covered every square inch of the 3 floor platform and I cannot for the life of me recall ECM. And then it dawned on us.... The first day we were allowed on Malampaya, we covered people pulling computers out in this room hidden somewhere in the middle... What did the guys call it again? In unison we said "Ah.... NERD Center!"

"NERVE center. NERVE - we happen to be the heart of the platform" he said laughing.

There was music, and there was a super cold air conditioner. So in between shoots, just to cool down - we'd pop up there. Nothing much to photograph though since a few photos of guys on computers kinda start to look the same after while.

The next day... I was on the weatherdeck photographing some activities when the fire alarm went off - they were testing the system but as the drill goes... I still had to go to my muster point, 3 floors down. Twenty kilos of equipment in tow, I made my way down to my station and got counted. Worked my way up again with all the equipment, and just as I was starting to shoot.... the alarm goes off. Gotta muster. Again. This happened three times in a row, on the last alarm we hear a page "Paging John Grimme of Yokogawa... please proceed to the control room." 

"Hey you, get the alarms fixed.... It's not easy carrying 20 kilos of equipment up and down. There's a reason why I'm only 5'2" today..."

So at the next ECM hang out, I was teasing John about my exercise regiment the day before...

A few days later, I had maxed the 21 days I was allowed offshore and had to go back to Manila for what was fondly known as a sanity break. Most people really missed non-repeating foods, so as a tradition I'd normally invite people to go out to dinner at a restaurant somewhere. Have a beer, and a good meal. I figured if they'd get out of the hotels, maybe they'd remember something beautiful about my country.

I handed my invite to Fred or Thijs since I knew them longer than I knew John at that point. "Lets go to Outbacks, have a nice juicy steak, potatoes and a pint of beer." They called me at about 5pm to take me up on my offer, and brought along a super home-sick Martijn.

That entire evening, John and I were just chatting away. Discovering that we both love dogs, we're both into some kind of sport, we both travel quite a bit (me locally, him internationally). I was a bit surprised that they offered to pay for my dinner. In fact I was adamant about paying for my own.

The next night, I gathered my friends together for a previously scheduled traditional "Carnivore Night." Thijs was no longer around, but John and Martijn came. I told them I knew a chef at this restaurant and it was reservations only but I would pick them up. What I didn't tell them was I was cooking dinner for my friends, and the restaurant was actually our roofdeck. Got a bit pressed for time so I asked Krisette and Hrbs to pick up John and Martijn from the Sofitel.

As they were going up the spiral staircase to the roofdeck, John exclaimed "She did this for us!?! Wow..." and my darling best friend, frank as she is said... "Um, no... this was actually for us since she hasn't seen us all in awhile, and we used to do this quite often. You're guests though." According to her, John started asking a bit about me, and little did I know that my own best friend would... pitch. She told him about Africa, and the essay contests, carnivore nights, and me randomly adopting backpackers to bring home...  By the time I made it upstairs with all the dishes... they were having quite a ball!

John said that it would be great if he could return the favor if I ever came to the Netherlands, and promised to keep in touch. I was a bit cynical having had so many people stay over and promise to "keep in touch." So I told him quite frankly that I didn't expect to ever really hear from him, and I just really loved showing people the best side of the Philippines. We're hospitable people. I told him about my motto of "Saving my country one tourist at a time" in this case, two. I told John that if he really wanted to say thank you... he could send me a post card, I collected postcards from people who had come to visit.

Somewhere in the course of dinner, John's girlfriend had called. He called her previously to ask permission to come to dinner. She handed him an ultimatum, either he didn't go to dinner with us or she'd leave. He said good bye. Didn't really catch much of that since I didn't understand Dutch, but he told me about it later on...

We had one week in Manila. Emails flew back and forth about places to see and things to do.... I was doing the rounds to bringing new friends out to places to eat and see.... At one point we had coffee together, and I took both boys out pasalubong shopping. Over coffee, John asked why I was still single at 26. My reply was "My life is perfect as it, any guy I go out with must be worth what I might have to give up to be with him." Simply put, I was happy the way I was - but thanks for point out the obvious.

Jeanette and I went out to dinner with another group before I flew out... It was a horrible experience. It was so bad that I never, ever joined another group out to dinner. The guys were extremely rude, and given their positions - working with them again might prove quite uncomfortable.

I flew out a day or so before John did... Back on the platform, I still loved what I did but some of the people from the "horrible" experience did make work a bit more difficult.  By the time he arrived, I just got a lecture about not fulfilling certain "expectations" and that I shouldn't have escorted Jeanette in and out of Ayala Alabang. It was difficult, and suddenly, my bubbly personality changed into something a bit more sullen.

I was crying in the dirty breakroom when he found me, and at that point, I was just happy to have a friend. I narrated parts of what had happened and he was just there... listening and giving advice. He said if I needed to talk to someone, I could talk to him. So I settled down, didn't go out of my way to be too friendly to anyone after that.

By mid week, we got caught in worst typhoon we ever saw offshore. I had just been granted permission to sleep on the platform so I could photograph the flare starting up. I asked permission to make my way to the barge to get a few personal things (change of clothes, toothbrush)... the storm was breaking and we were given 20 minutes to do so. We arrived back on the helideck well before the twenty minutes were over - just as they were lifting the gangway for safety. No one was allowed to cross. John was quite upset, and I was disappointed as well. 

He decided to sleep it off, and I decided to help out in the kitchen.  After dinner, as the kitchen was closing I realized he hadn't come down at all. So I put together a salmon sandwich and left it on the desk in the cabin he shared with 5 other people. I went to sleep amid the rocking motion of a ship in a stormy sea.

By midnight, I was completely seasick. So I stepped out unto the deck, and sat there watching the flare and the CGS take turns showing up. The six meter swell made it possible for me to see one end before the other. John found me trying to retain some composure. I probably looked as green as my hair... and decided to talk to me.

We talked for hours about life and relationships. I was trying to get him to reconcile with his girlfriend, and he kept asking about why I was still single and what I was looking for. We talked about a lot of things....

Two days later, they flew him across with chopper, the storm was still raging and the rest of us were still stuck.  I found myself on the demob list back to Manila the next day... That night though, John and I talked a bit on the radio and said our good nights etc... On channel 67. Didn't know it was broadcasted through out all the ships servicing Malampaya (and possibly all the passersby...)

Landing back in Manila, I printed out a photo that I took of him at work. I wanted him to give it to his parents (since they raised such a wonderful person).  I was going to leave it at CHI for John to pick up when he demobilized. Liberty from CHI probably heard the story beforehand... everyone seemed to know before I did.... she called me to say that John was on the chopper and that he was arriving and I should just wait. 

John came out 15 minutes later, saw me and asked if I had plans for dinner. At that point I did. My godmother called me to arrange a set-up with her nephew whom I had met once or twice previously. Ching called me to say we were meeting up with friends for after dinner drinks.... and so I told John "How about lunch?" He said he was really tired and needed to rest a bit. So I lay down my schedule and said... "Look, I have a date at 7:30, and drinks with friends at 9. If you want, I can meet you from 6:30 to 7:30 and then you can choose to hang out and we can meet again at 9." He agreed surprisingly....

We went out to vietnamese "appetizers" in a restaurant in Greenbelt 3, we talked about the Philippines, and day trips. I offered to take him to Pagsanjan Falls the next day since they shot Apocalypse Now there.  The conversation flowed so easily that it came as a shock that it was almost time to go. When he asked for the bill I told him we'd go "Dutch." He was a bit confused about the expression and said that splitting the bill wasn't their way of doing things... it was mine though, so I still insisted. Since he wouldn't let me pay, I felt it was a bit awkward to say "See you later." So I invited him to join us a Ebun where I was meeting Tita Monica, Tito Bobby and Carlo. I didn't expect him to say "yes" though.  I thought he'd go around.

So we both showed up at Ebun... and here I was making goo-goo eyes at Carlo since he was my set-up, and we were also quite similar. Loved dogs, adventure sports, travel... John was busy talking to Tita Monica. We had a great time. Come 9pm, I invited everyone to join us meeting friends at Havana. Everyone came it was fun. So we met up with Ching and our friends, and did yet another round of introductions. I inadvertently touched John on the shoulder when I was introducing him, and he said later that when I did a shock when through his body. Carlo, Tita Monica and Tito Bobby had a drink with us before pushing off since Carlo had a flight the next day.

At midnight, I told John that we needed to go if we wanted to make it to Pagsanjan the next day. Since I didn't have a car, he offered to drop me off with the cab first before going to the hotel. We were standing at the curb in front of Max Brenner waiting for a taxi, when he put his arm around my shoulders. We we both a bit tired from the long day - so I leaned in a bit. It felt nice. I could hear his heart beating wildly, and when I asked him about it... he just looked at me and kissed me. The kind of kiss that makes everything and everyone melt away. It was quiet for a long time....  And then I opened my mouth and said "Boy, we gotta talk"

John said he couldn't bear the thought of leaving without telling me how he felt. He was afraid that if he came back, I'd already be going out with someone else... and then he'd never have the courage to ask me out. Of course I was flattered.... 

However, the logical side of me thought that it might be a rebound thing, or a proximity thing, or some form of seasickness...  so I told him that we'd just go out to Pagsanjan tomorrow as friends - and that he shouldn't call or write for a month. I asked him to try to patch it up with his girlfriend first - and if it really didn't work, or we still felt the same way after that only then should we give it a try.

We left bright and early the next day for Pagsanjan. It was a thrilling kind of quietness in the car. A bit awkward, a bit telling. Pagsanjan was closed though because the river was too high, so we made our way to Tagaytay instead....  Coming back in the afternoon, John dad called him to ask if he'd already told me about how he felt and if we were going out to dinner before he left.

Apparently, the whole world knew before I did.... and that's how we started.

In the years that succeeded, he'd fly here on assignments or on his own. We'd chat over skype almost every day. During the weekends, we'd have movie dates where we'd pick the same film and watch it in sync. We wrote emails, snail mail and postcards. And for four years, we've been able to sustain this long distance relationship.

We often still talk the lengths that we did when we were just starting... and reading old letters collect through the years, the sentiments haven't changed. I guess if there was ever a sign that was good... it would be that. 

I think our turning point was that dark, stormy night when were talking on the barge. In our lives, I am sure there will be more, but just like that night... as long as we're together, we'll make it through.